Ignoring The What Ifs and The Bastards
I recently had dinner with a friend who is figuring out his next few career moves.
It is the kind of conversation that turns existential in some ways, and introspective in others.
He's been a good friend for over a decade and we know each others troubles and dreams.
But when he started down the "What If" road, I had to put up a detour sign.
You know the "What If" road: What if they don't like me? What if the goof I made 5 years ago comes back to haunt me? What if my career is over? What if what if what if?
It's ok to have some caution, but when you let the What Ifs get in the way, they win before you even try.
He also voiced some concern about what other people have said about him or think about him.
That would be the road The Bastards are on. I put up a detour sign for that one too.
When someone says something mean to you, or when life throws a bad experience your way, by all means be gentle on yourself and give yourself some time to recover.
But how much power do you want to give The Bastards and the What Ifs after that?
I'm not made of Teflon and so have definitely been hurt by The Bastards and discouraged by the What Ifs.
But then I have to look inside to find the courage and conviction to grab my dreams and go after them.
And I do this every single day until one day, I get on the other side of it, realize what I have accomplished, and the What Ifs and The Bastards don't have the power over me they once had.
Same for him. I hope he can get there and I hope I helped.
posted by finance girl @ 8:34 AM
4 Comments:
Thanks for the slap - I needed that!
"Get busy living, or get busy dying" is what I say. Oh wait, that was a movie. But, it's still the best advice.
Great inspirational post. You shouldn't let anythig stand in your way of your dreams - especially other people. Way to help out and detour your friend from getting down on himself. That's awesome!
Excellent advice! Amazing how much we need a reminder of this!
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